Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
