I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
