Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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