well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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