it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
