her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
