We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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