in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Randomize
