so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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