nut hugger
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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