Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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