She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
