Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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