Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
