i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize