I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
