we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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