I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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