How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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