He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
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im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
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Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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