You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Randomize
