Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize