He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You are the jesus of drinking
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
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