You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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