Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
