You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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