dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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