absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Houston, we have a blender
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
