You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
