Yo dont text me then not text me
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
