I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
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