Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
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