I look better un-naked...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
