And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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