I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
