Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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