Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just cropdusted the office
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize