apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
