My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
