I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Randomize