Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
