Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
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