his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize
