I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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