I feel great
I just peed on a car
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
