True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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