Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
