Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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