From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
