covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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