So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
