Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
