White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
