C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Randomize
