At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
