He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
