that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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